If a Celebration V road trip sounds like a good idea to you, check out these tips from ForceCast listener and FCTV co-producer Kay (aka TallestJawa).
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I Drove All Night
As you solidify your plans for Celebration V we Jawas would like to discuss a lesser used option for major convention travel. Drive to Orlando. It's not as ridiculous as you think. It can be an exciting, liberating, economical choice. What follows is a list of the benefits of road-tripping as well as some sound advice. After having made numerous drives from Washington, DC to Florida and several drives from Detroit to Florida (straight through, mind you, no overnight stopping) we have the experience.
Road trips are fun and exciting. There's no security checks, your luggage is with you 100% of the time, you're in control of where you go and when you go. You get to see the country. Driving from anywhere other than I-95 or I-10 will take you through mountains which is always lovely. Driving along I-95 will get you South of the Border, which, while not exactly lovely, is certainly note-worthy. Just ask the billboards.
Road trips are relaxing. You sit the whole way. No racing to connecting flights, no standing in lines at check-in. Watching the miles roll by is meditative and soothing. Listening to your favorite music or podcast or audio book only ads to the mellow greatness.
Road trips are cheap. From Detroit to Orlando is about 1200 miles. With 20mpg and gas at $3/gallon you won't pay more than $360 round trip. And the more people you put in your car, the better a deal that is. Admittedly, airfare may be cheaper than that for just one but it won't be cheaper than that for more than one. Which brings us to the Big List of Travel Tips:
BRING A BUDDY
Don't drive alone. If your spouse isn't going with you, find someone within an hundred miles of your house who will go with you. This person doesn't have to drive your car, but they do have to keep you awake and be someone to share the experience with. If you see the Oscar Meyer Wiener Mobile heading north no one back home will believe you without a secondary witness. The farther (further?) you will be driving the more important it will become that this person is allowed access to your steering wheel. Our trips from DC were easily handled by one driver. The trips to Detroit required Driver B to sleep until Driver A exhausted all her resources and woke up B to drive while she passed out and dreamed of talking hotdogs ("Oh, I wish I were an Oscar Meyer wie-e-e-ner....").
Anyway, road trips are excellent opportunities for quality time. There are no distractions, no obstacles, just all of you in the car seeing the same sights, excited about the destination, and being together. The conversations you can have are astounding. Admittedly, having too much time to talk to your significant other may lead to problems. Fighting during a road trip is Not Good (tm). So be prepared with mutually enjoyed music, podcasts, or audio books. These can either be Star Wars related to really build up the excitement and anticipation or completely not SW to ensure you and your buddy are not saturated before you even get there. The point is, this is a great deal of time to share an experience with just those of you in the car. Reconnect with your brother, relive great college moments with your best friend, or debate the true influence of midichlorions with your mate.
Do not road trip more than 3 hours alone. The bats will get you.
BE DIRECT
Take the freeway. The whole way. Frankly the last thing you need on a 10-24hr. journey is scenic byways that meander through forests at 30mph. You need to GET THERE. If your trip buddy (most likely the wife) really wants to go antiquing in the little villages in the Smokey Mountains then plan that for after the con when a delay only keeps you from returning to work.
Don't be afraid that the freeway is too boring. There are many interesting things built right along the freeway just because there are so many people that drive by it and will see it. And punch-buggy is much easier to play on a freeway than on a country road. The freeway is very fast and very convenient. Gas/food/restrooms every 5-10 miles and state operated rest areas that beg you to enjoy their hospitality. Local roads cannot and will not offer that kind of convenience and are very slow.
Get good maps before you leave home. Either online or via AAA. If you don't have AAA, hit up a friend who does and ask them to order a Trip-Tik from your place to the convention center for you. AAA won't know or care that their client isn't really going. But be sure to invite them for the ride, anyway. They could be your driving buddy! Jawas don't really have much experience with GPS systems so if you have one, great, but we still recommend a good overview before the ride and a big paper map can give you the Big Picture (tm) that one of those tiny TomTom screens can't match.
BRING SNACKS
Yes, you'll stop for actual meals from time to time but when drowsiness hits, you need some munchies. Of course, caffeine is to be expected but don't push it. Too much Mt. Dew will not only give you the jitters it will make you have to pee faster. (We'll address bathroom breaks a later. Just hold it a little longer.) Staying hydrated is important and sipping plain water will help keep you awake and alert. But alternating a cola here and there is certainly expected.
Snacks are great to have on hand for drowsiness diversion. The crunchier or chewier the better. Corn chips trump crackers. Twizzlers trump chocolate bars. Beef jerky trumps PB&J. It's not possible to sleep while eating (narcolepsy notwithstanding) but you will get too full if you don't pace your individual bites. The longer you can take on each nibble of sleep deferring vittles, the more efficient your ride will be.
Be sure to consider snack accessibility for the driver. Co-pilots are great so long as they're awake. They can fetch you anything you need from whatever crevice it had been jammed into. But if your driving buddy is already zonkered, either through planning for his shift or just zoning out and drifting off, you the driver are on your own to fish out, open, handle, and consume your nosh of choice. And if it's the middle of the night, you're in deep Bantha poodoo because it's dark and you can't see what you're doing. No matter what, be safe! Don't take your eyes off the road to stretch and rummage and peer into the floor of the backseat and put your whole vaca in peril.
Snacks are a vital component to any good road trip. When the other denizens of the vehicle are alert they can be in charge of storage and distribution. But always keep a quick sack of peanuts and bottle of water handy for when your driving buddy is unconscious.
MEALS
It is important to get out of the car once in a while and stretch your legs. Mealtimes are great for this. And these days the freeways are pretty great about giving you a head's up to what restaurants are available at the next exit without the bother of actually slowing down and taking a peek yourself. If you really can't stand another Waffle House and that's all there is at the next exit you can find out BEFORE you turn onto an exit ramp and have to argue with yourself and everyone else in the car about how "we're already here." So once you've all agreed on KFC you can pull off with confidence and purpose.
While for some the idea of eating in the car is repulsive and the cramp factor is just too high, we heartily suggest ordering To Go. Of course, you need to stick to fast food joints for this. You can't wait 2hrs at Denny's and then take your Grand Slam behind the steering wheel. By all means, park at the BK and get out and use their bathroom! and take your time at the menu. But then have them pack it all up for you, grab lots of extra napkins (who cares if they frown, you'll never see these guys again.), and pile back into the car. Wait until you're back on the freeway and the miles are pouring under your wheels again and then have the Navigator break out the burgers. This sounds childish and pampered, but have her unwrap the sandwich about half way for you. You've got to keep at least one hand on the wheel. A good navigator will make this as easy and convenient for you as possible. After all, it's her life, too. And fries can be made to fit in the cup holders, and try to not have the air conditioner blowing straight on them.
The driver should stick to easy sandwiches. The Great Gobs of Greasy Gopher Bits Bonanza Burger may seem hearty and appealing but will be very unwieldy with one hand and while not actually looking at it. Non-sandwiches like tacos, fried chicken, or lo-mein are right out. But everyone else in the car has more leeway. They can use utensils and eat in funny directions or with two hands as necessary. Hope you really got those extra napkins.
GAS FILL-UPS
It is very tempting to try to time meals and fill-ups to be all in the same trip. This turns out to be a mistake. There's nothing more annoying than having to pull over for nothing else than having to pee. By alternating feeding the car and feeding the people, more bathroom breaks are available for everyone. And for some reason it is not possible to find good restaurants AND good gas stations at the same exit in a timely fashion.
Never let the car get lower than 1/4 full. Invariably your tank will then get too empty exactly too far from the next exit and cause panic and worry for the driver if no one else. If you have a nervous side-kick this easily avoidable stress will just be exacerbated. Once the car is about half a tank you want to start your search in earnest. If you're close to the state border maybe you can wait until just before or after the crossing (depending on where you think gas will be cheaper). Or if you have a particular brand you prefer (because of credit cards or loyalty or what-have-you) you can be sure one can be found in plenty of time. You also have the luxury of avoiding the "very next Shell sign we see" when it happens to fall at an ungainly clover-leaf interchange where you'll never figure out how to get back on the freeway again.
Everyone out of the car. Stretch, pee, grab a big gulp, wash the windows, and pack it all back in. I don't care if you don't have to "go", you go! The walk in and out will do you good. You most certainly will have to go in the next hour and your driving buddy will be annoyed.
For those of you with short commutes, now's a good time to calculate your car's mileage. Every time you fill up the tank (to the very top) set your trip meter to zero. Once you have to fill up again, check how many gallons you put in to top off again. Compare this to how many miles are on your trip meter and do the math. (That math would be miles-per-gallon, or number of miles traveled since the last fill up divided by the number of gallons you just put in. The number you get is your highway mpg. How does that compare to what you get from regular driving at home?) Be sure to reset the trip meter to zero before pulling away from the pump.
REST AREAS
...are awesome! It can happen that despite your careful arrangements of meal breaks and gas breaks that a new break needs to be scheduled now. Often this will require the nearest suitably populated exit ramp. But if you're lucky, these extra breaks will coincide with the arrival of the next rest area on your stretch of highway. When you see the signs for one, feel out everyone in the car and make your decision. They are even courteous enough to tell you how far to the next one will be. ("Can everyone wait another 63 miles?")
The days of two picnic tables and an port-o-let are over. Today's rest areas are fully functional, well-lit, and often with 24hr. security. Many have an entire room devoted to vending machines for any gum, chips, pop, or coffee you have the pocket change for. The parking lot is always a good hike away from the door ensuring a decent stretch for your legs and a few lungfuls of fresh air. There's decor and brochures touting the greatness of whatever state you're in. There's a great state map pointing out where you are so you can get your bearings.
In addition to the bathroom and picnic facilities, they are "rest" areas. If it's 2am and you just can't do it anymore, pull on in! Kick the seat back, lock the doors, and catch a little snooze. It's kinda like camping. Your back is kinked, you have to walk too far to the bathroom when you wake up, and you're surrounded by strangers. But at least you didn't let the car plow into a tree.
Rest areas are very nice but don't let us oversell them. If you don't need to stop, then don't. Maximizing your drive time is far more important. The only reason to force a rest area is the Welcome Center as soon as you enter Florida. If you show up during banking hours you get free orange juice! (Not available at 3am, which is when we usually crawl over the border.)
MISCELLANEOUS
The day will not begin or end when you're on the road. We don't know why this is but until you pull off the road and either empty something out or fill something up the sun will not properly cross the horizon. It's like waiting for toast to pop up, it just doesn't happen until you look away. So, for the sake of the rest of us who would like night to fall and dawn to break, please pull over for a few and get some chores done.
The best case for road tripping to Celebration V (or anywhere for that matter) is that once you arrive, you have your car. This cannot be emphasized enough. You can take whatever luggage you want (a different costume for every day!) and it doesn't have to be sized just right. You can pack the economy size bottle of saline solution. You don't have the expense of renting a car at your destination. And no matter what you buy, you can easily transport it with you back home and even admire it on the way. No added shipping costs for that life-size bust that you had autographed. Woo-hoo!
So, there you have it. Save big on airfare, see the country, and enjoy the luxuries of your own vehicle. It is the best way to travel!
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Okay all you Celebration "Fence-Sitters." Hitch up your Tuan Tuan, follow Kay's awesome tips here, and we'll see you at CV.
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